TW: Pet loss
On March 29th, 2025, I said goodbye to Loki. I’m still trying to wrap my head around this loss. It feels so big sometimes that I can’t catch my breath.
When I met Loki for the first time, she was an 8-month-old puppy named Gloria. If there were a more ill-fitting name for a puppy, I don’t know it. When I saw her for the first time, she wouldn’t stop barking. I was told not to get that one and asked repeatedly by the rescue she came from if I was sure about adoption. My heart knew something that I wasn’t able to put into words yet: this little, skinny puppy was very rough around the edges, but given a little love and time would never leave your side.
Throughout the years, she and I worked through potty issues, countless veterinary visits, separation anxiety, and more roadblocks than I can possibly remember. It was hard. But the little shit made it all worth it. My life was enriched by her constant companionship.
When the pandemic hit and I moved to remote work permanently, she was always at my side. I’m so glad I had those five years with her at home. She was very good about making sure that I made it outside a few times a day.
Home feels empty right now. Jersey keeps looking for her; I keep looking for her. Her crate, bowls, and beds are all still in place as if she’s coming back. I can’t bring myself to move them yet.
